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My most recent impulse buy was Tough Mothers by Jason Porath. It's an illustrated coffee-table book with fifty vignettes about mothers who did incredible things: women like Sacajawea, Sojourner Truth, Irena Sendler, and many others I had never even heard of.
The book spoke to me not just because it looked awesome, but also because of where I am in my life. I'm a stay-at-home mom who doesn't bring any income to our family. Western society is still in transition about gender roles, and I often feel like I'm standing in the eye of a hurricane. There's shame attached to being "just a mom," like me. I've heard women without kids say they aren't "breeding machines," and women who don't nurse say they aren't "cows." You can imagine how that makes me feel. There's also shame attached to being a preoccupied mom. If you have a job, a business, a hobby, or anything that takes up your time, people look at you with suspicion. They wonder if your children are being neglected while you pursue your selfish interests. It's like you have to be maternal, just not too maternal, but shame on you for not being too maternal. And if you make a mistake as a mother, like if you accidentally leave your kid at the grocery store, expect the internet to publically crucify you. I feel like no one cares about mothers, but that we're still expected to do our jobs perfectly. It's enough to make you ask if your life has any point. When I saw this book on the shelf, my first thought was, "I can be a mom and make a difference at the same time!" We all know this, I think, but it helps to be reminded. I loved reading examples of real-life women fighting wars, marching in protests, and making inventions. My complaints about this book are somewhat miniscule. For instance, not all the women in this book had kids. I'm totally cool with the women who adopted children, obviously. But the book also had a nun, a transgender woman, and others without kids, and I just thought, "Really? Isn't this supposed to be about moms?" He calls those women things like "The Mother of Mexican Literature," but that wasn't good enough for me. It sends a message that there aren't enough tough mothers in the world to fill a whole book. Ouch. All in all, though, this book is powerful, inspirational, and fun. It's a good gift for any history-loving mother who needs a pick-me-up.
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